Educating Idiotica
Gone phissing?
What's
it mean.
Phissing for compliments.
Where you hiss what you need to hear?
Yeah. It's called complimentary colour book.
You
fill in your own colours, in colourful language and it is caught for posterity on colour tv.
COMPLIMENTARY TICKETS?
NO
COMMENTS.
J'ai oublie
COMMENT on dire cela, mais, Jeeves is bad. Doesn't speak butler english.
Oh yes Rhet Butler--------
No.
Scarlette being pinned into her corsets.
Where did the haberdasher put her pins?
IN HER MOUTH OFCOURSE?
IN HER MOUTH.
NO
NOT HERS. IN HERS.
WHA'?
IN SCARLETTE'S.
Which
brings it to nest of footstools.
No that would not do. She was made to stand still not sit still though it is called A
SITTING SESSION, when was she was being stuck with pins, so no there were no pieces of furniture one within the other like
a nest of footstools.
So because the haberdasher
did not have anywhere to hold her pins she puts them into the customer's mouth?
No coutouring has many many contours to
conduct than an orchestra maestro. So story probably don't tell, that is there were about nine hundred odd pages to skip during
which it was supposed to have been oddly enough about THE CIVIL WAR, but the background was so ground into the back, that
off the back of me 'ead, I couldn't tell but the pins would or should have been in her mouth.
See it goes to reason
if not to seed, or seedless read, as in seedless grapes you just put in your mouth, like seedless dates and but--------
But------,
but you must have somewhere to put the pins. It's a matter of practical inconvenience, considering they did not have a nest
of boxes, like tortoise shell boxes, one within the other within the other till the last one springs a surprise and has a
tortoise complete with creepy crawly limbs jumping in the box when you get to open it.
So Scarlette was
making too much of a fuss about being pricked with pins, so the haberdasher put all her pins into Scarlette's mouth and kept
asking for them, and yes, in between if she did OPEN HER MOUTH, she would have swallowed a fair few, which was rather unfair
considering it was before the JAPS, came up with toys to tinker with the belly, with fibreoptics and endoscopes to retrieve
the pins so it must have led to PEARL HARBOUR where they were polishing pearls oh yeah the Japs were very into CULTURED PEARLS,
so culture being a thing of clashes---------
which brings us
to this Class of '89 that Samuel Provincial Huntington taught. If you learnt the superior smirk of BUTLERING or rather WASPishness,
then you were through to take the CLASH OF CIVILISATIONS into tertiary referral care centre at ABU GHRAIB.
Anglo-saxons come
in two versions:
WAN AND TAN.
GENUINE WAN
AND
FAKED TAN.
AND THEY WHO CAME
UNDER THE COMMANDER OF THE MOSQUITOES TO RALLY ROUND THE STAR SPANGLED BANNER, HAVE A PROBLEM WITH MOZZIES SO THEY MUST MUZZLE
THEM AND GET A BIT OF RIBBON CALLED COMMANDER OF MOSSIES, OH THEIR SPELLING IS ATROCIOUS I KNOW, CAN'T TELL THE DIFFERENCE
BETWEEN MOSSIES AND MOZZIES SO THEY MESS IT ALL UP AND END UP IN THE COOKING POT OF THE CLASH OF CIVILISATION THAT SAMUEL
P FOR PROVINCIAL HUNTINGTON TAUGHT IN THE CLASS OF '89.
SO HOW DO YOU SKILLET
A FILLET AND KNOW THAT THERE AIN'T A PROPER RHYME OR REASON TO PAY THE BILLET AND KNOW YOU CAN RHYME THAT WITH REASON WITH
FILLET BUT NOT WITH SKILLET?
SKILLS ARE LIKE
THAT.
SO SKILLS CANNOT
BE LET.
LIKE CONDOS.
AND RENT SEEKING
IS A REWARD OF GESTALT MINUS THE SALT OF JEST.
NO NOT JEEVES.
JEEVAN REKHA HAS
MORE LIFE TO IT THAN INPERTURTABILY OF INFLAPPABLE ABILITY TO PASS YOURSELF OFF FOR THE MASTER WEARING HIS BEST RIBBONS AND
GETTING A RIBBING IN RETURN WHEN THE REMAINS OF THE DAY IS NOT EVEN JAPANESE!
IT IS LIKE CAFFEINE
FREE, SUGAR FREE, COKEFREE COKE, COLOURED WATER WITH A FIZZ THAT GOES FLAT WHEN THE PINS PUNCTURE IT FROM WITHIN!
WHEN WILL THERE
BE A SALTFREE DIET WITH SALTLESS SALT THAT TASTES LIKE SALT BUT IS IODINE ONE ION FOR A TATA GOODBYE TO GOOD EARTH NATURAL
SALT?
I DON'T KNOW BUT
THE IDIOTICO SYMPATHETICO DON'T KNOW EITHER.
SO THE HEAD OF STATE
OF INDIA IS HEADING OFF FOR REAL LEH, WHILE THE HEAD OF STATE OF THE EMPIRE WHICH NEVER LOST IT'S EMPORIUM IS SHOWING OFF
HER GOWNS FROM THE EMPRESS OF INDIA ERA AND YES, THERE IS A WAR GOING ON AND IT IS RATHER LIKE CAN'T GO ON WITH THE WIND BUT
WHAT'S A FEW FELLAS WHO CAN'T HAVE FELLOWSHIPS AT OXBRIDGES BEING SLAUGHTERED IN THE MIDDLE EAST AS LONG THE MIDDLE OF THOSE
WHO CAN HAVE MORE CAN HAVE MORE AND NOT HAVE A SPREAD IN THE MIDDLE TO ACTUALLY HAVE ONES OWN OFFSPRING SENT TO FIGHT THOSE
WARS AS PROXIES?
OXEN. MY DEAR ARE
OXEN. NOT ONYX.
THE ONUS IS NOT
ON THE OWNERS.
RENT SEEKING BUSINESS
IS TO RENT THE FABRIC OF SOCIETY SO THE WEAKER SECTIONS CAN WAGE WARS WHILE THE OWNERS COLLECT THE WAGES.
AND IN THE BOXOFFICE
IN THE BOXWALLAHS IT IS BOXED SANDWICHES AS BORING AS BLIGHTY.
AND DID THEY SAY
KLEPTOCRAZY IS NOT A STATE FROM THE STATE AND THE HEADS OF STATE CANNOT?
THE HEAD OF STATE
OF INDIA WITH A HEADFULL OF HAIR ENDING UP IN REAL LEH WITH REAL HAIR AND NOT HAVING A HAIR RAISING SESSION AS HOW THE OOP
BILL IS BEING SO OOPUFYING AND THEY CAN'T OOPUFY THEM WHO HAVE GONE SO OOP OVER THE OOP BILL?
AND OOPS THE Q OF
E IS HAVING A RETRO WITH HER DEBUTANTE DRESS ON DISPLAY?
OOPSY DAISY. WHAT
CAN ONE SAY.
CAN'T.
CAN'T WHAT?
KAIVALYA KANT.
THEY CAN'T.
CANNOT WHAT?
CANNOT.
OH. CAN IT.
KLEPTOCRACY.
FLASHBACK PHISSING
IN
UNTROUBLED
WATERS
Boring Brits have
done yet another garage science cartography where INDIA AND CHINA ARE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HEAP AND DANES, ARE DANA VEERA
SOORA SUKOON!
SUPERB SPITE. AND
WON'T WORK DESPITE THE SPITE.
FOR SPITTLE POLISH,
YOU MUST BE ALLOWED TO SPIT ON THE STREETS AND THOOK DAAN IS A GIFT OF SPRAY THAT ONLY THE ONE WHO GETS A MOUTHFUL OF RED
PAAN MASALA CAN UNDERSTAND THAT WHAT WAS THE PAST WAS THE PAST AND IT CAN'T MARCH PAST THE FLAGGED OFF FALTERING.
sg writes that C
was not s that is bad argumentation for an INDIAN. SPIES ARE SPIES AND THE ONES WHO OUTSPY THE SPIES ARE THE WINNING SPIES.
SO ALL THIS FLASKBACK
HAS ONE PHISSING POINT: A FLASK OF THE PISSKEY FOR THE PUSKIS WHO HAND OUT THESE LITTLE HIP THERMOS AND DON'T GET OUT OF THEIR
THERMAL UNDERWEAR AND SWELTER IT OUT IN GLOBAL WARMING.
SO INDIANS WILL
UNDERMINE INDIANS BUT THE ONES WHO BUY THEIR TIME, STEAL THEIR TIME AND PUSH THEM BEHIND TIMES WON'T EVEN HAVE FACE VALUE.
LITERALLY THE FACE
VALUE TO VALUE FACES.
FOR THE SAME FACES
HAVE THE SAME STOOGESTOOLS AND FOOTSTOOLS COME IN A NEST OF FURNITURE FINISHES AND ONE WITHIN THE OTHER WITHIN THE OTHER,
SO IF THIS IS A STOOGE SLAVE SERVER STATE OF PROXY POLITICS THEN OBVIOUSLY THEY ARE ALL PLAYING TO THE GALLERY AND FLASHBACK
IS THE DISTRACTION TECHNIQUE OF THE JASOOSI SO THE PRESENT POLITICAL COFFERS BEING FILLED BY LOBBYISTS HARD LOBS WON'T TURN
INTO LOBSTERS.
HOW DO YOU SKILLET
A FILLET AND NOT PAY THE BILLET?
BELIEVE IT?
NAH. THAT'S CALLED
OUTCHANAKYAN THE CHANAKYAN.
NO CHAMATKAR. PLAIN
CHAMCHA CHURNING.
ANOTHER ROUND
OF KHADI CHAMACH CHAI, BOY.
ANOTHER ROUND.
AND ANOTHER ROUND
THING, NOW WHAT IS THAT CALLED: PISSERS WHICH IS HOW INDIANS PRONOUNCE IT.
NO PIZZAZZ. PLAIN
FLOUR.. MAIDA MADE FOR THE MEDIA, AND THERE IS NO RECORD TO SAY THAT WAY BACK THEN IN 1997 THERE WAS THAT ARTICLE IS THERE.
NOT ON PAPER PRINT
WITH THE AGE OF YELLOW SHOWING ON PAPER THAT IS?
THAT TOO, SEPT.20,
1997?
HOW SILLY. HOW ABSOLUTELY
SILLY.
OBVIOUSLY BILL CAN'T
PAY THE BILL.
AND WANTS BILLING DEPARTMENT TO GET BILIOUS ABOUT WHAT WAS MISSED.
HENCE THE MESS,
AND WHO BETTER THAN EX-FAUJI WHO ATE THINGS OUT OF AN ARMY BARRACKS MESS TO MESS THINGS SO, SO NOBODY KNOWS HOW MAGICAL IT
IS, ALL THIS MEMOIRS BUSINESS BEING SO BUILT INTO A BIG BUSINESS AND YES, THE CHINESE LANTERN CASTS NO SHADOWS!
AS FOR
KARGIL?
SWEET CASHEWNUTS
IN CASHMERE!
SHEER SHEARING OF
SHENANIGANS.
SHEEP SHEARING IS A WELSH WONDER AND NO WONDER THE WORDS ARE SO BANGOR!
'THE DAY I LEFT
FOR BANGOR,'
or was that:
'THE DAY I LEFT
FOR BANGOR?'
THE REST OF THE
JINGLE MISSES THE JOG OF MEMORY.
************************
oh
here's a hum:
'The day I left
for Bangor,
'we had lunch on
the way.....'
'and on the way
back,
I travelled with Jack,
and we opened a bottle of CIDAR.'
SEE THAT IS THE
CODE DECODED AND CRACKED.
A BIT OF POTENT
APPLE VINEYARD WILL GO THE WHOLE YARD OF WHINE!
AND THE SPARKLING
WHINE CAN CAST A SPELL AS WELL AS BREAK A SPELL.
THE POINT IS NOT
WHETHER THIS INDIAN OR THAT INDIAN IS DOING UNTO THE OTHER INDIANS WHAT THEY ARE SAID TO BE DOING BUT WHAT IS THE BLEACHING
POWDER DOING?
CASTING A TAN ON
THE WAN OR NOT?
THAT IS THE CASTING
COUCH QUESTION.
CAN'T COUCH IT BETTER THAN IN FREUDIAN.
THAT WAS IS SLIP
TO THE SHOWING IS LIP TO THE CUP.
SO THE CUP THAT
HOLDS THE APPLE FERMENT WILL NOT HAVE THE FORBIDDEN APPLE THAT WON'T FALL FOR THE GREAT FALL OR FOR THE FREEFALL OF THE FALLACIOUS
NEWTON'S FALL OR EVEN FALL FOR THAT LINE ON HOW THE JACK DID NOT HELP THE FLAT TYRE THAT FELL FLAT AS A TYRE SPREAD IN THE
MIDDLE AS THE SPARE TYRE WHICH SCARLETTE HAD STUFFED INTO HER CORSETS SO THE CIVIL WAR WENT ON AND IT IS A TRUTH UNIVERSALLY
LEFT UNACKOWLEDGED THAT A PAID FOR POSTAGE IS WHAT IS FRANKINGAFTER THE MACHINE.
WAR
IN
OTHER
WORDS
IS
WAR
WHEN
YOU
TURN
IT
ROUND
IS
RAW!
SO
RAW
IS
WAR
AND
WHEN
THE
INTELLIGENCE
IS
TOO
RAW
IT
TURNS
INTO
WAR
BY
OTHER
MEANS.
WHICH MEANS WAR
BY OTHER MEANS, WHICH MEANS A WAR OF WORDS THAT CAN'T WIN THE WAGES OF WAR WITH WORDS BUT WORDS, STOLEN WORDS COULD TURN INTO
WHINE ESPECIALLLY WHEN THE NUTS ARE FLAVOURED WITH
'SWEET CASHEWNUTS FROM CASHMERE.'
OR KARGIL FOR SHORT.
OR HERE'S HOW IT
IS THAT MISTAKEN IDENTITIES AIN'T MISTAKEN WHEN THEY ARE STOLEN AND STOLEN IDENTITIES AIN'T UNMISTAKABLE!
IN THE SHEER LACKABILITY
OF ABILITY.
KANE AND ABEL AIN'T
ABLE BY CANDY MEANS PINK PAPERS DON'T DO THE CANDY FLOSSED FLOOZIES BUT FLOTILLAS COME AT A HIGHER COST AND SO THE FLASKBACK
HAS A FLASK.
AND CIDAR?
DON'T
CITE ANY SOURCES BUT DO TURN ON THE TAP ON CIDAR!
AND BANGOR?
TOO YSBITY FOR THE
TOILETS WHICH IN WELSH IS UNSAYABLE!
SO NOT ONLY IS THE
WAY TO PARADISE PAVED WITH PAID TOILETS BUT THE PATH TO NUCLEAR DEALS IS PAVED WITH POSTAGE STAMPS THAT POLITICIANS CAN'T
PAY FOR OUT OF THEIR OWN POCKETS SO EVERY DIME IS WORTH A CARPE DIEM TO CARP ABOUT THE DAY THAT WASN'T SEIZED.
ALAS! EVEN APPLES
WHEN FERMENTED TURN TO WHINE.
AND THE SPARKLER
IS CALLED: CIDAR!
AND FOR A BOTTLE
OF CIDAR THEY WILL SHIFT SIDES AND SIDE WITH THE SoothCIAS!
THE SMOOTH SMARMY
TYPES ALMOST ALWAYS END UP IN LUYTENS DELHI AND CAPITOL 'ILLS AND YES THEY HAVE LONG TENURE LEASES AND YES SO IT IS NOT AT
ALL SHOCKING SG YOU GOT THAT WRONG EVER SO WRONG, THAT IF C WAS A SPY OR A MOLE THAT HAD GENUINE BIRTHMARK ALSO CALLED: MOLES
WITH INDIAN PATRIOTISM WRITTEN IN RICH PATINAS THAT PASTEL CREATURES LIKE ADRIAN NOT CALLED MOLE BUT WHITE AS LEICESTER IS
LEAST WHITE CAN HAVE A WHITEWASH REPORT READY BY THE NEXT DAY'S DAILY THAT INDIA IS 125TH AND LANGUISHING SO MUCH FOR LINGUAL
LASHINGS OF THE LAIDBACK LOT.
SELL THE LOT IN
CARBOOT SALES.
ATLEAST THAT WILL
EMPTY OUT THE GARAGE FOR GRANDER SCIENTIFIC DISCOVERIES AND LIVERIED OFFSORTS LIKE JEEVES.
BY JOVE! JEEVA NEVER
HAD SUCH A JIVE!
AS NOSE DIVE!
INTO THE NASTY FLASKBACK
FOR A FLASK OF CONTRABAND!
CIDAR!
POTENT SPIKED CIDAR
= SPARKLING WHINE!
WANT ANOTHER MOLE?
OR
IS THAT A MOTE THAT COULD SMOTE THE FOREHEAD AND COME OUT SCREAMING:
KARMA!
COLLECT PAYMENT.
KARMA?
PRARABDHA KARMA
HAS NO SHABDA BRAHMA.
IT IS THAT SHUD!
ONLY ASHUD TYPES
MAKE A BIG SHOUT SO LOUD YOU COULD TELL IT IS: I-SPY! A SPY! CALLED__________UNNAMEABLE MOLE! MAKE THE CASH REGISTERS RINGING
WITH MEMOIRS SO BORING YOU COULD SAY THAT AGAIN!
IN FLASKBACK.
FOR
A FLASK
OF
CONTRABAND?
CONGRATULATIONS.
AND HAVE A DAY OFF
DRIVING THE LONG WINDING SHEEP FARMS TO BANGOR!
THE SIGNBOARDS ARE
MORE INTERESTING.
MAKE FOR EVEN MORE
INTERESTING READING!
AND DON'T MISS OUT
THE LUNCH ON THE WAY BACK.
MAYBE A HUNCH WILL
DROP OUT OF THE HUNDI OF PAID TOILETS AND VOILA!
A NEW COINAGE IS
IN CIRCULATION........................
YSBITY!
********************
************
SO HOW COULD THE
ANGLO-SAXONY GET IT SO EVERY OTHER CIVILISATION IS SOMEHOW BEHIND?
BY OUTSOURCING THE
TORTURE AND TORMENT CHAMBERS, WHEREBY THERE WOULD BE A STALIN FOR A GULAG, WHERE THERE WOULD BE A HITLER FOR A HOLOCAUST AND
A MAO FOR A MILLION FLOWERS TO BLOOM BEYOND TME MOWDOWNTOWN AND YES POL POT AND EVERY OTHER PETTY DICTATOR IN THE FOURTH WORLD,
AND FOOTBALL FOURTH OFFICIAL AND FOURTH ENGINE THAT FAILS IN THE INDIAN SPACE SATELLITE AND YES ALSO THE COMPLETELY CRUMBLING
BUMBLING FOURTH ESTATE AND OFCOURSE THE COLONIAL CLERKS WITH A PEG OF PISSKEY FOR THE PUSKI AND THAT WOULD BE LIKE A KEYED
IN TOY TO TOY WITH ANYWHICH WAY.
THE QUESTION IS
NOT WHETHER ARUNACHALAM DID METALLURGY THERE AT CARNAGIE MELLON OR THAT DING TRELLIS DOES THE TREPHINE, BUT WHY ISN' THE SO
UPRIGHTEOUS NOMINATED SO IMPECCABLE AN UNIMPEACHABLE CHARACTER AS MANMOHAN SINGH SPECIALLY PURCHASED BY THE BANK AND THE FUND
AS THEY POINTMAN IN INDIAN ESTABLISHMENT NOT BOTHERED THAT SO MANY REPUTATIONS ARE BEING RIPPED LIKE RENT IN A FABRIC FROM
MANCHESTER MACHINE MILLS OR IS THAT SPINNING JENNY FROM AMERICA WHO CAN GIVE A LOGO FOR THE HANDLOOM INDUSTRY A LOGO SO UGLY
MUST HAVE BEEN DRAWN BY A BORING BRIT?
TELL US.
DON'T
TELL U.S.
WHAT ARE THE CONCERNS SHARED IN THE REPLAY OF THE FAIRY TALE EPIPHANY: THE COUNTRY MOUSE AND THE CITY MOUSE?
WE THE PEOPLE CAN'T
WAIT IT IS ALL BUT DONE.
FINISHINGS, BINDINGS,
ENDINGS.
FOR THAT WOULD BE
TOO FINISHED TO BE FINISHED OFF BY THEN AND THE BINDING WOULD BE THE NEW BEGINNING:
OF BOND. SHAMES
THE NAMES.
SO WHY ARE SO MANY
NAMES INTO SHAMES?
AREN'T YOU AS CUSTODIAN
OF INDIANS ASHAMED?
THAT WE MUST WAIT
TILL THEY ARE THROUGH WITH THEIR PROCESS BY WHICH TIME HOW MANY SELF-RESPECTING INDIANS WILL HAVE TO SUFFER MEMOIRS WRITTEN
BY FLEA MARKET FERRETS WHO HIDE BEHIND INDIAN SCRIBES NAMES AND WHAT ARE BRIBES PAID FOR THE ESTABLISHMENT FOR JUST SUCH EMBOSSED
EMBELLISHED BLEMISHES?
AREN'T THERE ANY
BLUSHES IN BHARAT
OR HAS TOO BEEN
BLISTER PACKED AND ALU ALU IS THE NAME OF THE NAME OF THE NEW PACKAGING?
THE PACKERS HAVE
BEEN BUT HOW COME NOBODY MOVES ON?
******************
**************
